For the Grieving Parent After a Miscarriage or Infant Loss

Dear Parent,

During the month of October, our nation recognizes those who have endured a pregnancy or infant loss. Even though October is only one month, I have held space for your family and child in my heart since the day we met.

It’s an honor to share this sacred space of loss and grief with you. I held your hand as you wept for your child. We studied every unique feature after their birth and who they resembled. We bathed your child and dressed them in the sweetest outfit you chose for them. I took pictures as you introduced your new baby to family and friends. I listened as you played different genres of music and wondered which they liked best. We made special mementos for you and your other children, knowing one day these would be treasured keepsakes.

Remember that this is not your fault, even though it’s easier to blame yourself than to accept there may be no logical explanation for the loss of your child. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, surround yourself with those who give you space to talk about your child, and find another parent who has suffered the loss of a child because they are the only ones who truly understand.

My hope for you in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead is that you find moments where your child is near. Maybe you feel them in the beautiful sunset they paint for you on a warm summer night or in the stars that reflect on the ground after a fresh snowfall. Or you feel their presence as you light a candle at dinner each night in remembrance of them. 

I hope you know that I have found moments like these too. I remember you and your child.

Sincerely,

Your Bedside Nurse

If you are seeking support after the loss of a child, find local grief resources at the Columbus Department of Health, and national grief resources at Postpartum Support International.